Momentum.

Ughh. I feel awful when it comes to my shortcomings involving the upkeep of momentum in my life. I’m sure it makes a lot of people feel awful, I know I’m not alone.

So many of us have dreams, passions and goals that we are reaching for. What happens with inner thoughts though, is that we are actually getting nowhere closer to living them in reality. It doesn’t matter how much we DESIRE these things, only through ACTION are we able to fully live the life we want.

The COVID-19 pandemic pulled a full stop in my life. I became wrapped up in my frustrations. With my mind and body bound in that energy, I set aside the goals and aspirations I was working on and lived purely in the moment. Definitely not “in the moment” like one hears about from the guru of their choice.

I was living day-to-day, and instead of being swept up in most of the quarantine trends, I became even more reclusive than my natural tendency generally allows. I didn’t want to study, write, dance, or clean. I LOVE being productive. I can’t sit down for long periods of time, even though my attention span is capable of being held. I like to binge watch movies and shows, but I almost always watch on my phone because I’m not going to sit on the couch the entire time. I would literally become a couch potato, roots and all.

Once I accepted the state of affairs, I worked through the stress and anxiety by cleaning and organizing my home and office. Depression tried to take me. At a certain point there was nothing left that I could physically focus on.

It was time for the mental work. At first, this was daunting and overwhelming. As much as I wanted to hide from my emotions, facing problems is truly the ONLY way to grow through them.

It was really tough, but I persevered. In my upcoming post, I will open up more about my living with mental illness in a time of global crisis.

Through meditation and deep reflection; I now feel ready to face my fears with renewed strength and confidence. I am setting new goals and will continue to reach them. MOMENTUM! But please don’t forget that you need patience too. We can’t be so hard on ourselves. Ultimately in SO many ways, but specifically in unprecedented times like these.

Stay safe and well, my friends.